Lads. Lads. Lads! Do you realize that it is almost OWLs? Do you realize that we have planned nothing to scandalize the school in our last hours of untested youthful glory? Not on! I am thinking...fill the dungeons with snakes, see how much they really like them? Yes? Or we fill the breakfast tea with balding powder one day. That's a classic. Thoughts, troops?
[Private to James and Peter]
Also, do you realize that we're about to go a whole entire summer without showing Remus that we are not only brilliant and fabulously talented but also the best mates in the entire world? Nay, galaxy? Nay, UNIVERSE? This is also very much NOT ON. This cannot happen. No. If I have to go all that time in the Black house without the memory of Lupin's utter shock and disapproval at our generous genius, I am going to go stark raving mad. And you know what they do to mad dogs? They shoot them. At least, so I have read. Please pretty please with naked girls on top can we show him soon?